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Holiday service personnel
The Pilot

We could imagine The Pilot at home in a dramatic situation, such as their television blowing up and sending shrapnel around the room, saying "Family members may notice a slight disruption in your viewing and some air turbulence accompanied by some matter dispersal. This is quite routine and will not affect tomorrow's viewing schedule. Tonight's programmes will be replaced by a game of cards until a new unit can be installed early tomorrow." Unfortunately we become so used to this style of speaking from The Pilot that we begin to interpret everything that is said, even though genuinely innocent, as though our lives were threatened. Thus the Pilot says "Passengers might notice a small island on your left in the middle distance; this is the holiday island belonging to Richard Branson", but what we hear is: "Oh no! The other engine is on fire now! Hold on folks, I'm going to try to crash land on that small island! Can anybody hear fly a 'plane? I'm not feeling so good."